Lean In

you/me/we

are so afraid.

so fucking afraid.

to feel. 

we cruise through life.

waving along the way.

getting along.

or not.

not a big deal.

until it matters.

and then,

we run like hell.

we insult.

we push away.

we become unavailable.

we make ourselves,

irresistibly annoying,

to turn the one who loves/

we love,

away.

so that we can be alone.

safe.

in our zone.

of fear.

and being untouchable.

and unaffected,

not alive,

but safe.

safely,

not alive. 

until the next rapid heart beat.

and then,

we feel alive for a minute.

but we shut that motherfucker down,

in an instant.

and then we’re back,

to safe,

and being dead,

inside.