"But I still encourage anyone who feels at all compelled to write to do so.  I just try to warn people who hope to get published that publication is not all that it is cracked up to be. But writing is. Writing has so much to give, so much to teach, so many surprises. That thing you had to force yourself to do - the actual act of writing - turns out to be the best part. The act of writing turns out to be its own reward." - Anne Lamott

False starts. Here I am again. A new year. A new blog. A new layout. A new title. A new photograph on the blog.  A new bookshelf, for all of the old books, that were collecting dust in the closet, put away during the baby years.  And kept away for the next round of baby years.  The books are back. And I'm reading again.  I'm searching for why I write.  Maybe, it is just as Anne Lamott says, because "the act of writing turns out to be its own reward."  I find that I can't live without it, especially during the dark times.  I've had many false starts.  Or is it just repeated starts?  The ancestors wait.  They stand in a circle, shadows of flames dance on their face.  They've watched me. They've waited patiently, and they'll continue to wait, until I find my voice and my confidence.  I've tried this before. And I will try again.  Happy new year!